唐人派 or 红毛派???

This... I've told some friends quite a few times. I always prefer to hang around with mandarin speaking to English speaking friends because I feel more comfortable and confident speaking mandarin. I thought I might stutter or feel loss of words to express myself when speaking English.

Without realising a fact - I actually conversed in English more than mandarin in the past 10years! Chatting in IRC, on MSN, in games, posting in forums, drafting emails, sending SMSes and now blogging in English!! Even though not spoken, but I actually think, phrase and write in English most of the time. Sometimes I even find myself speaking English in between mandarin. When I argue with the idiot, I'd most probably go blabbing in English. LOL! Have I gotten better in English and more comfortable with English speaking friends? Actually no.

The reason for me thinking this way is quite complex. Somehow I feel that in Singapore, English speaking people are of a different class to mandarin speaking people. I'm referring to Chinese race. Not the matter of higher or lower, although some people might think they are higher class if they speak English and I think they should go to hell! They are probably still living in the 60s or 70s where probably only doctors and lawyers speak English. Nowadays, even the aunty tending a public toilet can speak English! Anyway, I just feel that there is different in "frequency". Lol.. Language alone is the difference. I don't dislike English speaking people, I do enjoy the company of a few friends who speak English as their primary language. No, I'm not contradicting myself. =)

By the way, how come still nobody reminds me to clear my to-do list? I hope I can clear the chores before Batam trip. Haiz... I'm just not disciplined to do so. OMG.. I don't think I can complete anything today... Sleepy now...