Just Very Random Topic: Depression!

I think I am!

Extracted from MedicineNet.com
According to the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the main symptoms and signs of depression are the following:
- persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
- feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
- feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
- loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
- decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
- difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
- insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
- appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
- thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
- restlessness, irritability
- persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

OMG! I think most of the symptoms are obvious in me! Zzz...
1) Always feeling sianz.. Sometimes I get anxiety attacks!
2) Once a while feeling hopeless but I try my best to stay optimistic.
3) No feelings of guilt or worthlessness though. But hopelessness does leads to feel helpless.
4) I really find many things that I used to enjoy are becoming uninteresting. No mood... Oh! But not the sex part. xD
5) Yes feeling fatique most of the time. I don't know if I was lazy or really tired.
6) Concentration really depends on my mood and issue. Short memory sometimes but no problem making decision.
7) Insomnia has always been a problem.. Recently oversleeping! Zzz.. The both combined!
8) Lack of appetite.. I don't know about weight loss.. But people complain I am skinny.. Maybe they're jealous of my size you know! xD
9) Ever imagined about suicide but no attempts..
10) Yes for restlessness! Sianzations! Highly irritable as well!! Idiot Lucy!
11) Digestive disorders EVERYDAY! But I don't know if it was because I gobbled my food or mentally related.

I think I have not much problem coping with these symptoms but I have this depression and anxiety attack that come every few months! Zzz.. I don't know how to explain that. When it comes I just feel very sianz, very agitated, very moody. Don't feel like doing anything! Don't wanna sleep! And if I happen to fall asleep, I don't wanna wake up! Argh!

Talking about sleep.. I don't know if anxiety cause oversleeping.. OR oversleeping cause anxiety! Recently I sleep for long hours.. And I feel anxious often.. Because after a long sleep, I wake up pretty lost and counting how long I slept and worrying if I missed out anything which I was supposed to do that day! Zzz..

*** I ended and published this blog entry here.. It was like 12PM and I haven't slept! And I couldn't sleep that's why I'm back! Shit insomnia again! ***

And so I continue......

Oh I think this depression thingy have contributed to my mundane blog.. (Did i use the right word?) I am trying to mean boring and oridnary stuffs in my blog. Everything in life now is just so boring to me! There should be much interesting happenings in my life just that "in my opinion", I find them not important to blog about! Example going to Humphrey's (Jason's friend) house for dinner last Friday...

Of course I went with Jason. Never been to his house before ever since he moved to a terrace house. He invited a few friends along as well. We bought some sashimi and 2 bottles of sake over.. Knn spent $300.. No photos! Knn can't be snapping pictures around people's house right? Like so sua ku!

After dinner went to their usual joint! The boring lobby lounge at Mirama Hotel... They were all so drunk that night! Like some 5 people finished 2.5 bottles of sake and 1.5 bottle of whiskey at Humphrey's house already.. That was within 2hours... Then at Mirama another bottle of Blue Label and half bottle of Black Label within an hour! I was glad I hurried Jason home before he gets crappy after drunk! I mean crappy NOT horny you know!! Crappy means he might sleep in the car or insist sitting at the void deck or stairways and refused to go home! Throw tantrums and talk nonsense! Argh!

Me looks at the clock.. SHIT! I need some rest.. bb...