H a i z . . . .

Reading the title... It's sianzations again..

Very unhappy these few days.. I don't know why... Err.. I mean I know why.. Nothing else and nobody else could really pissed me or upset me other than that idiot! I'm having less and less patience for everything! Is he really giving me more and more nonsense? Or am I expecting more and more things from him that he had never been able to give? Probably both ways...

I'm not someone who keeps anger for very long... Especially in a relationship.. I want to make peace fast and solve dispute ASAP... I don't like giving cold shoulders... And I don't like to act blur or avoid talking about any problems... I don't like to keep quiet and let matters rest by themselves and take it as nothing has happened.. I prefer to talk over the matter and solve it..

That's why I will always make the approach... Even if he pissed me badly, I'll call him and give him a chance to talk! It's my way of doing things... Probably many girls will think that making the approach first is like giving in, admitting lost and surrendering.. To me, I feel that I'd be happier sorting out the things and get over all the unhappiness... I always call him first, expecting some sort of explanation or apology from him... Or at least he say something to cool me or to make the situation better... But he will never be able to say the right things! He'll just talk some nonsense and pissed me further!

Am I too obstinate!? Maybe I am... Why I call him to piss myself more!? Zzz... But I know for sure if I don't talk about it, the thing will happen again next time and piss me off again! He always like to act blur and drop the subject or change topic and let matters past.. I don't mind! Not that I like to dig things out to quarrel.. I don't mind as long as the same things don't happen again.. Or at least don't ALWAYS happen! But because the same thing keeps happening and keep pissing me off, I really want to talk over it and solve it!

I don't like to play guessing games because I see couples always quarrel because they don't say out their thoughts directly and expect the other party to guess what they want. When the other party fail to get it right then quarrels start. For my case, I simply just don't need him to guess! I tell him directly! I love him, miss him, like something that he did, dislike something that he did... I told him directly! Most men are very bad at guessing girls' thoughts... The thing that really pissed me most of the time is that he ask me what I like and I tell him what I like as well as what I don't like.. Yet he purposely give me those that I don't like! He never fail to piss me off! CCB!

OK! Enough of all these shits.. The more I write about these thoughts... The anger will build up again.. I really hope to see daylight!

This week is a blue week.. I should be happy.. But I am so moody now! =(

Monday went Joo Chiat with him but didn't get to eat at the restaurant that I want.. Went back again on Thursday... After dinner was around 9:10PM... Went to Parkway Parade to see people pull shutters.. Zzz... It's ok! Lucky it's not like I planned to go there to shop, if not I would be damn pissed again! It's a last minute decision to go there since there's still time before he go work. Managed to shop a little bit.. Bought a pair of pants from ebase...

Sort of agreed to help Jason Chow at Warner Music.. Told him would start on the 15th this month but he begged for help urgently... So maybe help him for a day this coming Monday.. So long never do those stuffs.. I wonder just Monday alone would be enough or not.. Since I am so free, I could have start anytime... But dunno why I got this uneasy feeling.. I feel stressful and pressured to work.. Not because the job is tough.. It's just that I got the feeling I am not so prepared to take up the job and probaby also because recently I'm so unhappy.. So I wanted some time to prepare myself to get ready for the job.. Haiz..

I've got two extra rooms at home.. One which is totally empty that comes attached with a bathroom.. Another filled with some stuffs like a store room.. Just now my mum asked me to move my things from the store to the other empty room... Someone's coming to view the store.. My dad wants to rent it out.. Wtf?! Although I am still not decided to get a dog.. But looks like my "cage" is gone.. Zzz.. At first I thought the one with bathroom is good for confining the dog... Easy to clean and nothing for the dog to damage.. Now.. Haizzz...

I'm still thinking of making a new skin for this blog.. I don't know why because I accepted a new job.. I've got the feeling that after I started work, I won't be able to do many things I want.. But wtf?! The job has alot of time flexibility! Office is closed on weekends! And I opt to work only 4 days!! And the working hours not going to clash with my normal activities!! Even not working, I only spend the time sleeping and doing some nonsense in the day?! Anyway, I hope I can finish up my personal things before I start the job... So, hopefully I can come up with a new skin by weekend.. And also some other stuffs.. Like major laundry, major spring clean... bla bla bla..