Very The Sianz..

Last night he off.. Should be happy because went out with him.. But I didn't feel so.. Don't know why... Some mood swings with me.. Suddenly got very depressed and frustrated! Grr...

Anyway as usual we had no place to go.. Earlier I planned for a movie.. But those screening currently didn't interest me.. Went to Lavender Foodcourt for food.. I didn't eat.. Sibeh sianz.. Don't know how to explain the kind of frustration.. Actually.. I'm not too picky on food.. But then.. I really have a lousy appetite.. A lot of times I try to find food that will open up my appetite as well as brighten up my mood... Yet I need to consider for the food that he don't take.. I mean.. He isn't picky either... But there sure are some food that some people don't fancy or don't enjoy eating.. WHICH HE DON'T UNDERSTAND! Yesterday come and say I selfish! Say why I complain about company him eat the food that he likes or the places he like.. Kaoz.. I did complain.. But I complain why he always ONLY suggest things that he like.. What about me?! And I ALWAYS company him eat and go places he like.. And sometimes I even avoid suggesting what I like because I guess he might not like! Knn like that I kenna accused selfish is damn unreasonable lor!

He did ask me to suggest whatever I want.. But.. FUCKING LOOK AT THE CLOCK! Zzz.. So late! All the food I want to eat already finished! Places I want to go are already closed! I damn pekchek over this he don't understand at all! I can't say it's his fault that it is already late... He can only come out this time.. But then he cannot understand the frustration in me! So is it going to be forever like this!? Fuck! So everytime is this hour coming out! Forever I won't get a chance to do or go wherever I want! Whenever I think of this I just feel moody...

So last night was the same thing... He was complaining I was unreasonable... Probably I behaved like unreasonable.. I refused to go to the places he named.. Yet I couldn't suggest anything! Standing in a corner of the street.. He got very frustrated.. He keeps on suggest the places I don't like to go.. All those drinking places.. Sibeh sianz! Always go there in the end he'll be busy saying hello to everyone then I'll be left alone.. Fuck! As good as if he's working at Geo and I go there sit alone and zhobo!! I don't want those histories to repeat! Yet given that kind of hour I can't think of another place! I have A LOT of place I want to go WITH HIM, but not those hours! He can't understand my frustrations!

By the way.. He also always ask me the things I don't like.. And when I reject him, he gets disappointed and sometimes pissed!! Sickening! Yesterday I just told him in the face.. "I wrote a list of the food I DON'T like to eat in my blog.. And I purposely let you read my blog! You think which Tom Dick or Harry would be interested to know what I like to eat?! I purposely let you know and yet you ALWAYS push the food that I don't like to me! WTF?! Especially the CB SOTONG!! That day at curry rice you just offered a spoonful on my plate! You purposely or what?! Did I always force you to eat what you don't like?! I even try NOT to suggest at all! Yet you ALWAYS ask and ask and give me attitude when I give you a negative answer! You 变态 or what!?"... Actually, I don't mind eating sotong lah.. BUT.. I don't fancy them.. And I am reaching the limits because he ALWAYS ask me to eat them.. Until I have to lie and say I HATE sotong yet he still cannot get it!! Grrr!

Anyway... Last night we settled at the beach.. I was very depressed and moody.. Finally I said go beach.. He oblidged.. Went there and sat at the breakwater.. Laid down and watch the moon.. No stars... Huh?! Not romantic lah! I just wanted some peace! And he seemed bored! Don't care lah! Go there relax and listen to some waves.. He was constantly checking scores from his pager... Then complain got mossie.. Then want go toilet.. Impatient!!!

Woke up 1:00PM plus today... Eyes all swollen.. So bored.. I think lonely is the word.. Haiz.. How I wish I got a dog.. I want a Golden Retriever.. He would be happy to buy me any dog I want.. But the problem is I cannot keep!!! Probably a dog as small as Xta's 小黑 might be possible.. But I only want Golden Retriever! =(

I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. I want a dog.. Zzzz...